Sure, there's the occasional desperate need to shave the very back of your calves that proves to be a challenge. But even that can be bypassed with a good pair of opaque tights and an understanding husband.
But do you know what is way worse than not being able to reach your feet? Not being able to reach your three-year-old's feet. I never realized how many occasions there were that required me to bend all the way to the ground to help him.
Let me give you a run-down:
- When he gets dressed in the morning.
- Every time he has to pee.
- Every time he has to poop.
- Every time he says he has to poop and then doesn't. And then decides two minutes later that he really does.
- When he steps on the legos he never picks up and needs a kiss to fix his owie.
- When he needs a change of clothes because they're muddy, covered in paint or doused in chocolate milk.
- When he stubs his toe and needs a kiss to fix his owie.
- Every time there's a string in his sock that's bothering him.
- When he goes outside.
- When he comes inside.
- When he scrapes his foot on something while he's flailing around like a crazy person (just one of his favorite ways to pass the time) and needs a kiss to fix his owie.
- When you tell him to put his own shoes on because you can't stand to bend all the way down yet another time, and he -inevitably- puts them on the wrong feet.
- When he takes off his shoes for no reason and then has a melt-down because his shoes aren't on....
Do you see how impossibly far away those precious little feet look? So very far away. (And yes, my belly really is that lopsided. All the time.)
And here's the best part of this whole situation. Today, when I told him to put his shoes on so we could leave the house, he said in his whiniest voice, "Mommy!!! I can't. My belly hurts too much, and I can't put them on."
Now he's using my own whiny excuses against me. I don't know how I will possibly survive the next five weeks. Send reinforcements.