Kids say the darndest things: the embarrassment has just begun

Having a toddler that can talk is by far the most entertaining stage of parenting yet. Everybody knows that kids say cute things, but when it’s your own offspring talking, all those funny things come out somehow even funnier.

A few weeks back, Little Spaghetti said to me one morning, “Mama, I love you!”

“How much do you love me?” I asked him.

He replied without hesitation, “Forty cents!”

You know, though, forty cents worth of love feels pretty darn good.

 This kid loves him some goggles.  How can that not make you smile?

 Then a couple weekends ago we went swimming in our in-laws’ pool. Little Spaghetti decided he was done swimming and would rather run around the pool. There were lots of adults still in the water, so I decided to let him have his fun, though I knew he’d almost certainly fall in the pool.

I went inside to grab something, and thirty seconds later, Little Spaghetti came marching into the house sobbing and drenched from head to toe. “Mama, I fell in the pool AND DIED!” he cried.

Later that week he was telling my mom about the incident. She said to him, “But you didn’t die. You’re right here. You’re alive.”

He looked at her sternly and said, “Gwamma, I am not alive. I’m a boy.”

Hard to argue with logic like that. Seriously, with this kid around, I laugh so much every day of my life.

Sometimes it's more fun to wear goggles not in the swimming pool.  Less risk of dying.

But then there’s this other component to speaking. The one where your children start to say things out in public that you have no control over.

We are trying to find new friends since our move, so we went to a play group recently. The group was for children 1-2, so Little Spaghetti was a little bit older than most of the kids. And he definitely talked more than most. The tots were all playing pretty quietly when all of the sudden my kid started crashing some plastic cars into each other and shouting, “They’re dying. They’re dying. They’re DYING!!”

All of the other ladies in the room just looked at me with a combination of shock and disgust that silently said, “What on earth is this woman teaching her child!?” All I could think was, “Just wait until your kids start talking!”

As much as I enjoy this new talking phase, I have a feeling the embarrassment in my life has just barely begun.

What about you? What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? Any advice on the best way to react?