There were a lot of things I didn't expect before I had a baby...locking myself in the bathroom to get a little peace, having someone rip out my eyelashes, being plagued by sleep crawling. But what happened today has been the biggest surprise of all. The joy I feel at this very second has been so unexpected that I must record it for all posterity.
This is the proudest moment of my motherhood so far. It kicks the pants off of rolling over and walking. I am actually quite shocked that this milestone is not listed in every baby book on the market. Heaven knows it should be.
Today, friends, is the day my son learned how to blow his nose. Like actually move air forcefully enough through his nostrils to cause boogers to come out of them.
It was a beautiful moment; I wish you could have been there. As he was getting out of the bath tonight, I held up a tissue to his sweet little nose, and said, "blow." Dutifully, he blew. But much to both of our surprises, stuff came out. A lot of gross, green chunky stuff.
He looked at me with wide eyes, then smiled and proceeded to blow over and over and over again. I almost cried.
This is a skill I have been wishing he would learn pretty much since the day he was born. You see, I find boogers to be the grossest of all the substances that come out of an infant. So gross that the only time I've found something gross enough as a mother to gag, it was a booger.
But today, with great pride, I can retire the trusty little green snot sucker that has been the bane of my existence for 18 months. You've served us well, ol' bulb syringe. Now, put your feet up, have a beer, and relax. You definitely deserve a vacation.