Would you believe that me winning Blogger Idol was not a good enough reason for my son to stop the obnoxious habit he's developed of finger-painting whatever happens to be for dinner on the table? Then when I told him he better get with the program and learn to use the big boy potty or I'd put my people in touch with his people and the results would not be good, he smiled at me and peed on the floor. Finally, I had to come to grips with the fact that this new-found stardom was not going to be my personal easy button when I woke up at six this morning with a 25-pound toddler sleeping on my head. On top of my head.
So, it turns out that it's back to real life for me. And I'll be the first to admit that there are just as many things I don't know now as there were four days ago. I'm hoping some of you have the answers to life's deep questions, though.
First, there's Katy Perry's new song: "Last Friday Night." It's not the song itself that I take issue with, just a couple lines. You see, she says, "Think we kissed but I forgot," but just a few lines later, "Then had a ménage à trois." My question is this: how do you remember a threesome, but not a kiss?
Next up we have drivers (particularly those from the great state of California) that drive in the left lane. All the time. Even when there are no other cars for miles except me driving behind them, wanting to pass (in the left lane like the law says). Are they actually unaware that they are supposed to drive in the right lane? Or are they just being jerks? Or is there some joke that I'm not cool enough to know about?
Last but not least, how does Mother Nature know exactly when I'm getting sick of my summer wardrobe? This morning, the temperature had dropped about 25 degrees, the smell of fall was in the air, and I got to bust out my sweaters that I'd just started fantasizing about. The timing could not have been more impeccable.