Thoughts on working (and my mom jewelry)

I have a job.  And  I’m not talking about the smiling, laughing, shouting, little monkey that lives in my house (though some might describe him that way).   I mean a real, go-to-the-office kind of job.

I sometimes have to remind myself of that.  For years, I was convinced that I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom.  And there are days when I still wish I was.  But the truth is, I think I have the best of both worlds.  I am lucky to have a flexible employer who was willing to work with me after I had Little Spaghetti, so I only work two days a week – plus a few hours from home.  And most of the time, I FEEL like a stay-at-home-mom.

Either way, I have a job.  Sometimes I really like my job, and sometimes I really don't.  I suppose that's how anyone with a job feels, though.  There's one thing for sure, though: my life in the work world means something entirely different to me as a mother than it did before I got pregnant.

For me, the best thing about work, without a doubt, is the continuous blocks of uninterrupted time.  This is something I took for granted  before having a baby, but now it is pure bliss.  Sitting, focusing, completing tasks without hearing a cry or a whine is...beautiful.  Going for eight or nine hours in a row without getting interrupted by a nap cut short or a snack demand that must be filled right now is...amazing.  Though that's not to say I don't get interrupted at work.  They're just different, less shrill interruptions.
 

The thing I like least about work caught me completely off-guard.  As I prepared for maternity leave, the things I dreaded were feeling like I'd hate to leave my baby, feeling worn out at the end of the day and still having to cook/clean/everything else, and feeling like I was missing out on important milestones.

Now, of course, I don't like any of those things, but the thing I like the least is that when I’m at work, I’m not a mom.  Or at least, that’s how it might appear to anyone I meet in a given day.  It’s not like because I gave birth, I was branded “Mom” on my forehead.  Nor would I have wanted that.  But the thought that someone could interact with me – even on several occasions – and not know such a fundamental and important thing about me seems…wrong somehow.

I don’t want to sound like some crazy, obsessed mother that NEEDS everyone to know she has a child.  And I don’t think that being a mother is the ONLY thing that defines me, but it’s odd to be missing such a big part of my life a couple days a week.

This feeling led me to want to have some reminder of Little Spaghetti with me at work, and so I started looking at mom  jewelry.  I found lots of beautiful things, but none were quite right. 

So, I took on the task of making my own.  And, I have to say, I love the results.  A little something called silver clay, a cheap butane torch from a hardware store, and tada! 

The imprints are my little guy's toes.  I love how simple it is, and I love how personal and unique it is.  Most of all, I love that - like motherhood - it isn't "perfect." 

I unfortunately didn't take pictures of the process, but I'm hoping to do another one soon (I'm so paranoid that I'll lose this one that I want to have a back up!), so I will post all the details then.

Do you have mom jewelry that you love?  I love finding new things to buy!