Often times I catch myself off guard with the things I hear coming out of my mouth. Many of these things are not things I ever expected to hear myself saying. And certainly I never expected to be saying them in a genuine way. Yet, I've found that I've had many words of wisdom to impart to my infant over the last 11 months.
Tonight, I was changing Little Spaghetti's diaper before a quick trip to the grocery store. While he tried desperately to crawl away from me naked from the waist down, I told him, "You have to put your pants back on. The world expects us to wear pants!"
It ranked right up there as far as "teachable moments" go with the time when he was three or four months old and had started protesting being strapped into his car seat. In response to one particularly frustrating occasion, I calmly told him, "Look, honey, whether you like it or not, you have to ride in your car seat. It's the law. If you don't ride in it, mommy will go to jail on charges of child endangerment. And if mommy goes to jail, there will be no more milk."
In response to the horrified looks on my husband and mother's faces, I said, "What? I'm just telling him like it is. I'm raising a realist, ok?"